Conflict of conscience

I’ve noticed during my time here that I’ve had to let a lot of things slide that I normally wouldn’t in Canada. As a student it was very easy for me to live a socially conscious life. I didn’t have a lot of money so I walked everywhere, didn’t eat much meat, reused whatever I could and bought locally from the farmer’s market instead of the overpriced fruits and veggies from A&P. This meant my footprint was relatively low. Before leaving home, I was deeply troubled by this style of living. Even in my interview for this internship, when asked what was my greatest challenge, at that moment I replied that it was battling with the daily conflicts in my conscience about whether I should drive my car or walk to the grocery store, kicking myself if I forgot to bring cloth bags to the grocery store, and if I couldn’t find fair trade coffee I wouldn’t have any coffee at all. I prayed deeply about these inner battles and asked that God grant me peace with myself. I knew if I kept up with this behaviour I was bound to disrespect someone or push everyone away from me.

In this regard, Ghana has been extremely beneficial and not because I threw out my footprint by flying here but I’ve realized here that some things are out of your control and that living consciously is as much as being aware of your decisions as acting on them. I’ll admit that I still bring my cloth bags to the market and try to conserve water and power in my house. However, I’ve had to buy bottled water here, even though on the most part I opt for the cheaper bagged water (I like supporting it because it provides drinking water options to the poor who cannot afford bottles). I’ve also drank Coca Cola products and Nestle coffee…something I would never be caught doing in Canada, and thrown out perfectly reusable plastic bags.

Ghana has allowed me to step back and take in the big picture. I could hardly refuse when Coca Cola offered to give HelpAge ten crates of drinks for an event we were having, where at home I would have told them ‘thanks, but no thanks’. I can hardly refuse overpriced bottled water when there are no other options and the heat is about to consume me entirely. Many people would find these decisions trivial but they plague me deeply. I often think that living a socially conscious life means every decision you make must be made in this light or you cannot be called truly socially conscious. It’s like saying that an environmentalist that throws out a plastic bottle instead of recycling it is not a true environmentalist. Or it’s like saying that a feminist that decides to be a house wife is not a true feminist. I think Ghana has taught me that the way we live does not need to be absolute. The point is to be working towards that perfection, and in my case trying to live a life that is pleasing in God’s eyes. I’ve always considered Jesus as a role model for social activism and in this regard I try to work towards living like Him. However, in this sense, I can hardly ever say that I’ll be perfect or even Jesus, so I should just try to live His teachings as much as I can and pray that He forgives me throwing my glass coca cola bottle in the trash can…after all at least I didn’t throw it in a gutter, right?

p.s. This entry was prompted by learning Canada’s recent decision to reject the emission targets for 2020 at the climate change summit in Bali. God help the US, Canada and Japan learn the error of their ways and hopefully change their minds.